never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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