I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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