Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just invented taco cereal.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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