Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  You can't be serious.

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  (417): You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right? (573): You can't be serious. http://tfl.nu/cmch
  Replies (58) Good night (3379) Bad night (772)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too

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  (614): Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too http://tfl.nu/p8r6
  Replies (24) Good night (714) Bad night (2044)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone

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  (219): By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone http://tfl.nu/czmq
  Replies (8) Good night (4126) Bad night (945)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?

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  (620): Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night? http://tfl.nu/n9fn
  Replies (35) Good night (1578) Bad night (6761)
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  (925): View more from California

  she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"

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  (925): she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob" http://tfl.nu/t96e
  Replies (15) Good night (4608) Bad night (1007)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

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  (647): Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine. http://tfl.nu/8bqc
  Replies (7) Good night (881) Bad night (2109)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.

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  (703): You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter. http://tfl.nu/b2tf
  Replies (4) Good night (2677) Bad night (855)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.

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  (717): I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups. http://tfl.nu/ij1j
  Replies (1) Good night (1280) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.

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  (864): If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/qg7h
  Replies (11) Good night (2478) Bad night (950)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.

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  (316): Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple. http://tfl.nu/0ujo
  Replies (24) Good night (590) Bad night (1734)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.

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  (678): I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please. http://tfl.nu/k3b6
  Replies (4) Good night (950) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.

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  (215): Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship. http://tfl.nu/lmdk
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.

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  (561): Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/luvf
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants

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  (336): I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants http://tfl.nu/fpn9
  Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"

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  (902): He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!" http://tfl.nu/vkmc
  Replies (0) Good night (839) Bad night (280)

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