yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?