I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM