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• (913): View more from Kansas

  i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i think im in thre room next to you

  Fav 28 2417 877

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.

  Fav 24 3736 938

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• (925): View more from California

  i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them

  Fav 10 1031 3235

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.

  Fav 87 1472 6592

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

  Fav 29 1390 4875

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

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• (518): View more from New York

  it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.

  Fav 1 982 2004

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?

  Fav 13 1256 3130

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober

  Fav 3 1088 690

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.

  Fav 7 1697 784

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!

  Fav 6 942 613

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH

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