i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
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another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
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Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH