i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
