You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
