"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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