i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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