I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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