i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
