I wanna bring you to show and tell
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
