At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize