i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
