He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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