And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.