Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love

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  (214): She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love http://tfl.nu/tjul
  Replies (51) Good night (19962) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  he was CRYING into my vagina

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  (410): he was CRYING into my vagina http://tfl.nu/w2tl
  Replies (36) Good night (869) Bad night (11920)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.

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  (330): you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there. http://tfl.nu/1912
  Replies (7) Good night (6176) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Do I even want to know?

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  (480): My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend. (1-480): Do I even want to know? http://tfl.nu/wopv
  Replies (28) Good night (4570) Bad night (1763)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.

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  (850): You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism. http://tfl.nu/m7x4
  Replies (18) Good night (6089) Bad night (1490)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god was she eating orange peels again

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  (508): oh god was she eating orange peels again http://tfl.nu/g701
  Replies (8) Good night (1158) Bad night (2376)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

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  (573): I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use." http://tfl.nu/1qa0
  Replies (8) Good night (5588) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting

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  (510): Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting http://tfl.nu/1alo
  Replies (10) Good night (1007) Bad night (2881)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!

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  (425): Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue! http://tfl.nu/4b94
  Replies (14) Good night (3067) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm

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  (505): I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm http://tfl.nu/1dm0
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class

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  (269): I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class http://tfl.nu/65qj
  Replies (7) Good night (2535) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.

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  (408): Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you. http://tfl.nu/z19y
  Replies (5) Good night (1485) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop

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  (925): I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop http://tfl.nu/0pj9
  Replies (1) Good night (794) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.

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  (406): Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever. (1-406): Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible. http://tfl.nu/2r6p
  Replies (3) Good night (800) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Who showers for four hours?!

  (760): View more from California

  It was like a tropical nap.

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  (206): Who showers for four hours?! (760): It was like a tropical nap. http://tfl.nu/5ez6
  Replies (4) Good night (1324) Bad night (322)

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