i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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