I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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