Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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