I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
COCAINE IS GR8
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
