If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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