I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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