I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
