put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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