It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
