I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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