Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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