I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
