Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
