Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
