Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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