I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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