The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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