Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize