YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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