I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i drank out of a bidet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
