First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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