I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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