we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
