Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
