I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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