you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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