Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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