The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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