You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
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You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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