his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize