This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
porn star boner night. come get it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination