i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless