Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.