i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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