That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
