She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize