You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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