i think my mom watched the whole time
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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