I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have tasted many bathrooms
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
