I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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