Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Pants are for mortals
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
